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Language of Love for Couples | GueSehat.com



Health information reviewed and edited by dr. William



If in the past many people said that being a parent was difficult because there was no manual, it seems that this is no longer the case. The reason is, there have been so many parenting knowledge delivered by experts as a guide in order to be the best parent for your little one. Especially in this fast-paced era, Mums and Dads can access information from their fingertips via smartphone.



Being the best parent for your little one, of course, requires cooperation between Mums and Dads. For that, Mums and Dads need to know each other's characters first and learn the appropriate love language for each other.



Also read: Beware of Saturation in Marriage



Love Language and Personality


The language of love is of course adapted to the character of each person. Basically, there are 3 types of personality, namely:



1. Auditors


Someone who loves to talk and is easy to express his feelings verbally. In a husband-wife relationship, someone with auditory character tends to be easy to nag if he finds discrepancies from his partner or the surrounding conditions. However, you can also be a good listener to your partner.



2. Visual


This personality loves beauty and loves to pay attention to details. Couples like this usually like to wear matching colored clothes when traveling. Meanwhile, when there is a conflict with a partner, they will only give a signal from the face, not verbally.



3. Kinesthetic


People with this personality like to do things to keep themselves busy because it is much easier for them to face things head-on. In expressing emotions, they tend to act immediately, such as hugging, stroking, or kissing.



Also read: 11 Trials in Marriage to Face


According to psychologist and expert hypnobreastfeeding, Fonda Kuswandi, the language of love can be taught using the “I-message” when you want to express an opinion or try to solve a problem with your partner. For example, if you don't reply to a text that Mums sends you, try to confirm this by saying, "I'm waiting for a reply" chat from you, you know. Because I want to ask your opinion about it."



In fact, it will be more effective to convey what we think or want to others, rather than using the speaking method.U-message" Example U-message is: "Why didn't you reply? chat me, eh? What are you doing, anyway?" This second method tends to cause conflict because the object of speech will reply to the question in self-defense, not to be heard. Finally, there was a fight.





Parenting Errors Due to Incompatible Communication


Then, what does learning the language of love have to do with your child's upbringing? Fonda explained that there are 12 popular parenting styles that have been passed down for generations and are considered a form of good parenting. In fact, this method is actually wrong and can have an effect on the mental development process of children. Well, all of that can start from our ignorance to communicate with a partner.



The parenting errors in question are:


1. Rule.


2. Blame.


3. Underestimating.


4. Comparing.


5. Stamp or label.


6. Threatening.


7. Advise.


8. Lying.


9. Entertaining.


10. Criticize.


11. Innuendo.


12. Analyze.



Well, Mums and Dads, you should avoid the 12 wrong parenting patterns earlier. From now on, improve the quality of communicating with your partner and create a new perspective on how to raise good children.



Also read: 11 Bad Habits That Eliminate Sex Passion in Marriage


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